For many children, the loss of a pet will be their first experience with death and can help them learn to cope with other losses during their lifetime.

Breaking the news that your pet has died will likely be very distressing so you should try and do so in a place where your child feels safe and secure; and there are minimal distractions. What and how you tell your children will depend largely on their age and maturity level.

If you are getting ready to euthanize your pet you should consider preparing your children by explaining to them that the veterinarian did everything they could for your pet, that he wouldn’t or couldn’t get better and that it is the kindest way for your pet to die without feeling hurt or scared. You may wish to give your children the option of saying a final goodbye to their pet.

It is recommended not to use the words ‘sleep’ in any context as younger children may take this literally and become frightened of going to sleep themselves either for anesthesia in the future, or even just going to sleep at night.

If your pet’s death is unexpected then calmly and simply explain the basic details of what happened, for example “Rover’s heart was poor and couldn’t work anymore”. Using words like death and dying may be a good way to explain what they are to your child. You need to make sure that they realize that your pet is unable to come back to them.

Whether your pet was euthanized or was taken from you suddenly, you should let your child’s questions guide how much information you provide them.

Can I just tell my child that their pet went away?
You could tell your child that their pet has gone away, but this isn’t advisable as they may expect their pet to return to them. Alternatively if they find out the truth this can anger or upset them.

What do I tell my child if they ask what happens after death?
Only you can decide what is appropriate to tell your children, and you may choose to answer based on your personal beliefs. However it is ok to tell your children that you don’t know and that what happens after death is a mystery.

How might my child react?
Your children may experience grief in the same way that you do. However they choose to express themselves you should try and support and understand them.